I really feel unusually relieved to be in a foreign country educating a writing workshop this election day, as I used to be throughout the stunning final result of the 2016 election. However though I’m in Malta, not California, I’m fascinated by and praying for the soul of my nation each single day of my absence. I’m additionally feeling all of the feels in a means that jogs my memory of a Buddha statue I noticed in Thailand throughout my Sacred Drugs pilgrimages. The statue had many faces, and the faces had a wide range of expressions- unhappy, indignant, scared, joyful, dissatisfied. My components processing accomplice Emma and I wound up calling it the “IFS Buddha,” as a result of it expressed so many components in a single Buddha physique.
That’s a bit how I really feel proper now- unhappy, scared, anxious, indignant, dissatisfied, hopeful, grateful, relieved- suddenly.
Let me see if I may give voice to some of those components. I’m feeling an excessive quantity of election nervousness, the likes of which surpasses even my 2020 election nervousness. This election, I really feel legit scared that, irrespective of who wins the election, there may very well be violence at residence, that harmless folks might get harm, that warfare might escape, that revolt might happen- once more. I really feel frightened that detention camps might pop up, that politicians might get assassinated, that democide might start.
I do know I might really feel the way in which I did in 2020- profound reduction. I additionally know I might really feel the fear I felt on my daughter’s birthday- January 6- once I noticed the media protection of Proud Boys and different American civilians in riot gear storming the Capitol.
I nonetheless hearken to my Kamala Harris For President playlist (which you’re welcome to take pleasure in with me here) nearly each day- as a result of it elicits hope in me. It additionally elicits the worry of hopes being dashed, of being let down by my nation once more, like I felt in 2016. I really feel anger and rage each morning once I get up in a Maltese time zone to learn the terrible issues that MAGA Republicans did the day earlier than. Generally I even get a shocking sprint of excitement- as a result of, nicely, chaos positive as hell isn’t boring, even when components of me would a lot reasonably be bored in peace than overstimulated by chaotic change and uncertainty. Then I really feel exhaustion when my activist components assume, “Are we actually nonetheless protesting this shit?” And that makes me so unhappy. So unhappy that there’s nonetheless a lot divisiveness, a lot hatred, a lot injustice, a lot oppression.
After which once I cut back and go much less meta, I can really feel joyful once more. Pleasure. Love. Gratitude for a way privileged I’m to be secure when so many will not be. Gratitude that I dwell in a rustic that has not had warfare on our personal soil since Pearl Harbor- and, kind of, 9/11. Gratitude that I wasn’t born BIPOC or queer or a Dreamer in a rustic that’s typically hostile to individuals who have been, but in addition survivor’s guilt that I did nothing to earn these random privileges.
Like me, you’ll have many components with quite a lot of emotions emerge within the upcoming days.
My invitation is to permit all of them to be right here. As Rumi says in his poem The Visitor Home:
This being human is a visitor home.
Each morning a brand new arrival.
A pleasure, a melancholy, a meanness,
some momentary consciousness comes
as an surprising customer.
Welcome and entertain all of them!
Even when they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your own home
empty of its furnishings,
nonetheless, deal with every visitor honorably.
He could also be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The darkish thought, the disgrace, the malice,
meet them on the door laughing,
and invite them in.
If you would like extra assist feeling all of the feels and attending to know your components, please be a part of me and Jeff Rediger for a weekend of life evaluation in YOUR IMPACT & YOUR LEGACY. We’ll be guiding people by way of an exploration of your feelings, your priorities, how life has gone to date, and what you would possibly want to change as we enterprise into 2025. With a lot uncertainty in our midst, we take consolation in coming together- with our personal components and with every other- to deal with what we DO have management over, so we are able to extra gently navigate what’s out of our management.
The early chicken low cost for YOUR IMPACT & YOUR LEGACY ends Sunday, November tenth at midnight, so join quickly.
Till then, I’m right here biting my nails and hoping all my catastrophizing components grow to be fallacious and that my hopeful components are rewarded for his or her optimism.
Want you all as a lot Self as you may muster within the days to come back, particularly the trauma survivors amongst you who can get very dysregulated in occasions of uncertainty.
Bear in mind, breathe…and push, identical to labor. We are able to do exhausting issues.
