How We Find Meaning by Putting Ourselves In Boxes

I’ve been down some deep rabbit holes over the previous few years.

Once I discover one thing that sparks my curiosity, I grow to be obsessive about studying all the things I can about it.

I’ve found issues like astrology, human design, David Kibbe’s type system, shade evaluation, and Ikigai, all of which have led me to a deeper understanding of myself and my private preferences.

I’ve had a-ha seconds after studying that my astrology placements can clarify my love for writing or that outsized, stylish garments don’t work on me as a result of I’m a Smooth Basic in Kibbe’s type system.

These methods and labels could be useful as a result of they validate and make sure what we already find out about ourselves. They assist us title complicated ideas and supply parameters that scale back evaluation paralysis.

However there’s one downside.

My curiosity in these methods and character assessments begins as excited curiosity after which shortly slips into an all-consuming have to get all the things ‘proper.’ It’s straightforward for an curiosity to grow to be an obsession (and due to Reddit, I do know I’m not the one one).

So are these methods truly useful in the event that they trigger us to hyperfocus on making the ‘finest’ or ‘proper’ resolution?

Right this moment I’m sharing what I’ve realized from these methods, how we discover that means by them, and why I actually assume we wish to label ourselves.

The rise of bins and labels

Let’s begin by speaking about totally different methods and labels so that you perceive what I’m referring to.

Forewarning: after studying this, it’s possible you’ll fall into a few of your personal rabbit holes.

Kibbe Physique Sorts

Launched within the Eighties, David Kibbe’s style system is predicated on 13 picture identities. These identities aren’t associated to the standard fruit physique shapes (apple, pear, and so on.) however somewhat how proportionate you look, whether or not you’re extra angular or rounded, and the way tall or quick you appear.

The thought is to decorate in a manner that enhances your pure options. Maybe you’ve at all times struggled to make clothes developments work, however you couldn’t work out why. Your Kibbe physique sort may provide you with some clues.

You possibly can strive to determine which sort you might be utilizing on-line quizzes, however solely David Kibbe himself can provide an correct typing. Due to this exclusivity, folks really feel they haven’t any selection however to find out their very own sort, and there are subreddits to assist folks determine it out.

It’s all good enjoyable whenever you’re getting began, however it may shortly grow to be irritating whenever you don’t fall neatly into one class or get caught making an attempt to comply with the rules.

Coloration Evaluation

Color analysis (aka discovering your “finest colours”) is one other system from the 80s that’s come again in full pressure. Are you a winter, summer season, spring, or autumn? Are you heat or cool, brilliant or muted, gentle or deep?

They are saying understanding your colours will show you how to look harmonious in your garments, and also you received’t must put on as a lot make-up as a result of the colours will do the be just right for you (the truth that that is primarily focused at girls bettering their seems to be is a subject for an additional time).

The issue is that some folks fall neatly into these seasons and others don’t. I’m embarrassed to confess that I’ve thrown my cash at 5 totally different digital shade analysts solely to have all of them inform me I’m in several seasons.

I can hear you saying, “Simply put on the colours you want!” Sadly, my mind can’t appear to let me try this now that I find out about shade evaluation. The perfectionist in me desires an identical wardrobe.

Astrology

Astrology is a system that helps us perceive ourselves and others by the motion of the planets. Maybe it’s a generational factor or simply the bubble I’m in, however astrology appears much less taboo as we speak than it was previously.

Astrology can provide you a greater understanding of who you might be and show you how to interpret your present part of life. You might know you’re a Leo, however have you learnt the place the moon was whenever you have been born and the way that will have an effect on your emotional wants? Or how about the place Mars presently is and the way that will have an effect on your motivation ranges?

Due to its potential to interpret future occasions, the quote goes: “Millionaires don’t have astrologers; billionaires do.”

Whereas astrology could be useful if you understand how to make use of it, utilizing it within the fallacious manner can create unfavorable stereotypes and generalizations.

Human Design

There’s one other system associated to astrology known as Human Design which will help you perceive methods to reside your day by day life with ease.

Relying in your sort, you may decide whether or not the most effective use of your power is to be an initiator of latest concepts (Manifestors), to be a workhorse and get issues accomplished (Mills), to comply with your many pursuits (Manifesting Generator), to be a information to others (Projectors), or to easily observe the world and replicate again what you be taught (Reflectors).

This one opened my eyes to the concept that our trendy world tells everybody they should be initiators and workhorses, but many individuals usually are not designed to make use of their power that manner (maybe that is one cause why burnout and persistent fatigue are so prevalent as we speak).

Why we put ourselves in bins

Possibly you’ve gone down the identical rabbit holes as I’ve, or maybe these methods have by no means piqued your curiosity.

Both manner, we people wish to put folks into bins even once we say we don’t.

The query I discover myself asking is: What am I REALLY in search of to grasp about myself by these methods?

For me, the enchantment is a set of parameters which have the potential to make my life simpler.

If I do know that I’m a sure physique sort within the Kibbe system and my shade season is True Autumn, perhaps I’ll waste much less cash on garments that don’t swimsuit me.

If I do know that I’m an INFJ within the Myers-Briggs Sort Indicator, I can really feel higher about my want for alone time.

Maybe all of that is to say that I’m a perfectionist who desires a algorithm to comply with as a result of I believe that can make my life simpler.

However is in search of an outdoor system as an inner guidebook the best way to go?

In an version of Oliver Burkeman’s publication titled ‘Systems vs. life’, he writes:

Many people yearn to discover a system or algorithm or life philosophy that would by some means reside life for us, on our behalf, so that when we’d pledged allegiance to the rulebook, we wouldn’t must face the messiness and discomfort of truly displaying up, second after second.

If I actually dig deep, I need these methods to present me confidence in myself once I really feel unworthy.

Possibly if I comply with the principles and tips completely, I received’t must cope with any discomfort that makes me really feel self-conscious.

However life doesn’t work that manner.

Changing into too reliant on an outdoor algorithm means we lose our private preferences within the seek for what’s proper or good.

The search for self-understanding shouldn’t grow to be a pursuit of perfection.

Are these methods pointless?

So, if we will’t depend on these bins and methods to outline who we’re, does that imply they’re fully pointless?

I don’t assume so. In spite of everything, they will help us make sense of the world and discover that means in summary methods.

It’s completely comprehensible to desire a sense of that means in life since nobody desires to waste their time and power. However trying to find the right system and making an attempt to comply with it to a T may finish in wasted time and power anyway.

A part of the enjoyable of life is seeing what involves us once we’re not pushing, not searching for answers, and never making an attempt to make issues good. All you must do is ‘be’ – you’ll be you both manner.

Ultimately, making an attempt to depend on any system aside from your personal inner knowing will lead you additional away from what you need and want.

Let your self comprise multitudes

Figuring out your character traits or discovering your good colours isn’t essentially going to vary your life or provide the confidence you search.

There’s nothing fallacious with utilizing these sorts of methods and labels; you simply must method them from a spot of curiosity somewhat than perfection. In the event that they’re not enjoyable anymore, it could be time to let go.

If you happen to really wish to really feel assured in your self, settle for that you may be a number of issues directly. Be okay with being undefinable. Create your personal tips for all times as a substitute.

I write this as a message to you and to myself. It’s what I want to listen to to cease getting so caught up within the particulars.