Navigating the Ebbs and Flows of Life Without Losing Yourself

Once I began drafting this publish in March, the logistics of transferring to a different state have been taking over plenty of area in my mind.

There have been a bunch of administrative issues to cope with, like closing and opening financial institution accounts, discovering medical insurance, and getting a brand new driver’s license.

I understand that there are extra annoying issues to cope with on the earth, however I used to be itching to get these items over and executed with so I might really feel a way of ‘regular’ once more.

Now these issues are over and executed with (as of September), it’s all only a blip in my reminiscence.

Closing my checking account and getting my driver’s license have been straightforward sufficient. This stuff have been annoying once I handled them previously, so I assumed they might be annoying this time round.

Now that it’s all executed with, I discover myself in a lull. There’s nothing to ‘determine.’ It feels good to breathe for a second, however then I discover myself questioning why all the things is so quiet.

What ought to I be doing subsequent? Why can’t I simply let myself be nonetheless for a second?

Right here’s what I’ve been pondering in regards to the ebbs and flows of life and the way being current throughout annoying experiences could make you extra resilient.

The ebbs and flows of life

As people, we’re usually on the lookout for the following huge thrilling factor to occur – a trip, romance, occasion, and so on.

That, or we’re hoping for a much less annoying time in our lives.

When life is overwhelming, we will’t watch for it to finish. However when life is quiet once more, we really feel as if we must be doing one thing extra thrilling.

The in-between is an unsettling place to be.

I don’t find out about you, however when issues aren’t annoying or busy, I begin to query the that means of life. It’s as if coping with chaos offers my mind one thing to concentrate on, but I can’t be totally current as a result of I need the chaos to be over with.

It’s an limitless cycle.

I’m certain the individuals of TikTok would like to psychoanalyze this as a response to one thing that occurred in my childhood, however I additionally know I can’t be the one one who offers with this.

Perhaps you additionally really feel like your life is one huge up and down, or perhaps you may have a very exhausting time coping with the in-betweens of life.

The query is how we will embrace the ebbs and flows of life and acknowledge that it’s a traditional a part of being human to come across ups and downs.

Coping with annoying occasions

I’ve spent plenty of my life ready for intervals of heightened stress to finish so it could actually return to ‘regular.’ I used to have this naive concept that I might make my life utterly stress-free if I attempted exhausting sufficient.

I believed there needed to be a approach to cease the little issues from affecting me a lot, particularly as a result of different individuals appeared to be unphased by the identical issues. They’d occupy my each thought, and I felt like I couldn’t get pleasure from life till these annoying intervals have been over and executed with.

I believed if I nailed the perfect routine and was tremendous in line with my habits, stress would move me by. If I meditated or journaled sufficient, maybe I might forestall something from overwhelming me. I’d be resilient sufficient to let it move me by.

Whereas these are useful practices, they’ll’t forestall annoying conditions from displaying up. One thing else is all the time going to return alongside and make it troublesome once more.

Due to that, I feel we have to let go of the mindset that, by some means, sometime, life can be utterly stress-free. Or that if you happen to battle exhausting sufficient, you’ll be so robust that annoying conditions will brush proper previous you and received’t derail you out of your objectives.

Resilience isn’t about how bodily or emotionally robust you’re however the way you alter and adapt after a troublesome expertise.

If we’re going to come across annoying intervals, we have to try to be current in them and discover methods to get pleasure from life regardless of them.

That’s what practices like journaling and meditation assist with. Reasonably than stopping our issues, they provide us time to be current and to method our issues head-on.

“You’ll all the time have issues. Discover ways to get pleasure from life when you’re fixing them.” – Craig Carlson

Coping with lulls

Maybe it’s additionally in our greatest curiosity to let go of the mindset that life should all the time be enjoyable and thrilling.

It’s exhausting whenever you see individuals on social media dwelling their ‘greatest lives,’ however they could possibly be fabricating it for views or continuously chasing a excessive that they’ll by no means attain. You really by no means know the backstory until persons are trustworthy and open about it.

So when life is quiet, can we simply calm down and revel in it with out making an attempt to make one thing else occur? Can we discover methods to get pleasure from life both means?

As with annoying occasions, the actual problem is to embrace the lulls as alternatives to apply mindfulness and gratitude relatively than as one thing to run from.

Writer Caroline Myss says that we’re so used to expressing gratitude when issues go proper, however “it’s not our apply to stand up and simply be thankful for the reward of life by itself.”

It is a good reminder to precise gratitude for the moments once we are merely current, not only for the moments when one thing ‘good’ occurs.

Profiting from the in-betweens

In an effort to embrace the ebbs and flows of life, we have to discover methods to be current throughout each.

After we attempt to rush and drive issues to occur, whether or not it’s pushing to get issues over with or chasing new highs, we miss out on the precise expertise of dwelling.

Throughout annoying intervals of life, take a second to put in writing down what’s occurring, bake your favourite cookies, discuss to a pal, or learn a tacky romance e-book — as a substitute of claiming, ‘Oh, I’ll do all that after the stress is gone.’

And when life slows down, do the identical issues. Preserve selecting little methods to get pleasure from your time.

Although you’ll be able to’t management the end result of one thing, no less than you will discover some enjoyment within the means of it.

And keep in mind that few issues in life are everlasting. No matter you’re going by means of won’t final eternally.

“As a substitute of ready round for the following factor to maintain your self busy, why not make the ebb of life worthwhile to you? Whether or not it‘s studying one thing new, in search of reference to a long-lost pal or relative, taking over a pastime or long-overdue venture, and even simply being with your self and having fun with the solitude, deal with it as a conscious alternative.” – Amaan Akhtar

How do you deal with the ebbs and flows of life?

Life will all the time ebb and movement. Being current within the midst of difficult experiences will make it easier to be extra resilient than merely avoiding these experiences altogether. You don’t need to rush something.